The Godly Rebel: Soulful Psychology ✨️✝️

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Hey all, I don’t know how we ended up here. I mean I have always been praised for my culinary creativity, but I never knew creative writing was my thing… Until I was sat in the middle of my own storm, thoughts racing 100 miles per hour with no outlet. And then I had a light bulb moment: something told me to let it all out in writing! 💡

One hour turned into two, two hours into three… before I knew it, I had spent 9 hours typing away… I was anger. I was love. I was sadness. I was shame. I was frustration. I was joy. I was chaos. I was curiosity. I was every feeling rolled into one.

But then, midway through my first draft, I was hopeful.

And if I were an emotion on Inside Out, it’s name would deffo be Chaotic, because that’s me, to a T.
Speaking of chaos… allow me to reintroduce myself for the 9th time.
You can call me The Godly Rebel. I’m a thirtysomething year old adhder, and a big kid at heart– trauma has that age regression effect. I am a very lucky wife-to-be 💍 (pinching myself that I’ve met someone loving enough to entertain my non-stop yapping), and a mother to two beautiful, yet boisterous boys 👦🏾👦🏾

Which brings me to another curveball:
I’m also a psychology student 🧠🤓. Who would’ve thought I’d make it to uni? Honestly, I have the attention span of a goldfish 🥴 I can’t lie though, studying psychology is like second nature to me! From a very young age I have lived and breathed psychology– I honestly think I learnt how to read people’s true intentions before I learnt how to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar 🐛👁

And not to blow your mind or anything, but when I was a seven-year-old mini Godly Rebel, I even surprised myself by seeing someone get hit by a car before it happened. I remember it clearly– a warm summer’s afternoon, sometime over the weekend. I was standing at my bedroom window, looking out, and… I knew before my eyes saw.

It wasn’t an isolated incident either. Similar moments have occurred throughout my life– quiet flashes of knowing that arrived uninvited and left just as quietly, as if they were never meant to be explained, only witnessed… And NO I am not going to swear on me nan’s grave😅 Not everything is meant to be proven. Some things are simply meant to be carried.

You may agree that I am blessed with the gift of divine spiritual discernment 😇 you may even believe I’m a walking case study needing to be admitted to the nearest psych ward– but it’s as if God whispers to me, ‘Hush my child. We know what’s good.’ 🤫

After all, Scripture reminds us that ‘to one is given the word of wisdom… to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit’, 1 Corinthians 12:8. Not everything God gives can be measured– but it can be known.

I am currently sat in my living room imagining the life I desire for my family and I. ‘What are your plans after uni?’, I hear you ask. Hmm…When I’m fully qualified, I dream of sitting on my fancy leather couch in my fancy office, my specs perched low on my nose, Macchiato in hand, whilst my eyes offer a gentle yet scrutinising gaze, uttering words of wisdom– telling my client what’s going wrong in their lives, whilst I try to figure out what’s going wrong in my own 🥴. Yep, even the psychologist needs a psychologist– Today more than ever!

If like me, you’re also an empath, you’ll know how it feels to absorb everyone’s hurt, happiness, rage, and everything else in between – honestly, at times all it takes is my pet cat looking at me funny before I become a complete dysregulation station 😶‍🌫️ Some days I feel like I’m collecting an array of Pokéballs, each containing an emotion ready to unleash at any given moment.

And if you think that’s a lot, wait until you hear about my God-given humour…
I am quite the comedian, and I have no time to explain it to the fun police tbh. If you can’t take a joke, this isn’t the platform for you.
Although you should probably stick around for your diagnosis, as the inability to take a joke is sometimes linked to neurodivergence👀 Purely advice though… I am all about ethical approaches only.  In other words, it’snotbyforceandyoucanleaveifyouwant butpleasestayyyyyyy 🥹

**Oops, there goes my fear of abandonment/ insecure attachment Pokéball.

In essence, my ‘vibe’ is scientifically-proven interventions, deeply rooted in faith-based scripture for holistic healing, specifically for those who also have an attitude problem inner rebel ✝️🙏🏽 

FYI I am not one of those ‘anti-meds’ people; I’ve been prescribed a multitude of crazy pills anxiety and ADHD medications. They are great for easing physiological needs, but only God can feed the soul.                  

Let’s unlearn predispositions we were never meant to carry, all whilst remaining true to our inner rebel that we have been conditioned to suppress. Let’s distance ourselves from all things that no longer serve us, so we can serve God 🙏🏽

*Side note:
Before writing this intro, I created my first draft, but after reading it I noticed some paragraphs jump from topic to topic. Initially, I was going to edit for flow and readability, but then I remembered– GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES 🥰
Editing out the chaos would defeat the whole purpose of everything I stand for– owning and accepting yourself.
So if I go off topic one moment and the next, just buckle up for the ride yeah, cause we go from 0–100mph round ere 😜.
Let’s go!!! 🏁

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**Some parts are redacted– not hidden, just held.
This is me releasing what I can, and leaving the rest with God as testimony, in His timing.