The Godly Rebel

“I used to think every fight was mine…
until I realised some battles belong to God.”

*Me in my feelings, rehearsing how I am going to address everyone who wants to test me 

Me: I am nice until you’re not. I’ll keep it respectful, but it’s respectfully F@#% YOU. 😡

God: Now that’s not what we spoke about earlier 🤔

TAKE 2…..

Me: I am nice until you’re not. I’ll keep it respectful, but respectfully I can’t stand you 😤

God: A for effort. But you can do better than that 🤨

TAKE 3...

Me: I am nice until you’re not. I’ll keep it respectful, but respectfully I choose peace. Now, please excuse me, I have a Lord to serve, and he don’t play about me 😇

God: This is what it means to be a #GodlyRebel – choosing peace when your flesh wants war 👏🏽

Positive psychology is not something that comes naturally to me– and if I am brutally honest, I wanted to start this piece of writing cussing out everyone and their pet hamster.

Think 2pac ‘Hit Em Up’ vibes, you know towards the end, where he annihilates everyone, and their dead goldfish.

But I said not today SATAN 🙅‍♀️

I would like to start of by giving Martin Seligman (founder of positive psychology) a piece of my mind!

Man really said “choose happiness” like my brain didn’t choose violence first 🫨

It’s almost as if we expect our lives to have an Instagram filter, concealing parts of ourself that we find ugly and only showing the highlight reels

But God says come as you are…

Flaws and all 😌✨️

So here goes 🤭

The truth is…
choosing peace is not always my first instinct.
If anything, it’s the complete opposite.

My mind is quick.
My emotions are loud.
And my sense of justice?

Ohh babygirl, she’s always ready to pull the trigger for me – even when I say stop 😂

But I’ve come to realise something…
Not every battle is mine to fight.
And more importantly,
not every reaction is mine to give.

There is a version of me
that would have said everything I felt
in the exact tone I felt it in.
No filter.
No pause.
No peace.
And for a long time…
I thought that was strength.

Especially as a late diagnosed adhder, having to unlearn soooo much unhelpful behaviour patterns.

But growth has taught me something different.

Real strength is refusing to let your emotions lead you into places your nervous system will have to recover from.

And that’s where the transformation happens.
Not in the loud moments.
Not in the reaction.
But in the pause.

Because if your nervous system has to recover tomorrow– it wasn’t strength today.

That quiet, uncomfortable space
where everything in you wants to react…
and you don’t.
That is the cocoon.

That is where God does His best work.
Not when you’re performing.
Not when you’ve got it all together.
But when you’re sitting there thinking,
“Lordddd… if I speak right now, it’s not going to be godly.” 😭

And instead of reacting…
you surrender.

That’s the moment you stop being
the “hungry caterpillar”
consuming everything around you…
and start becoming
the butterfly.
Not because life got easier…
but because you got wiser.

I can’t lie and pretend that I don’t fall victim to the hungry caterpillar mentality from time to time – I am however, finding it easier to snap out of it, with consistent practice .

You will come across unhealed people who will try to call your bluff, but give them a friendly reminder that this ain’t poker– it’s chess.

Wrong game.

Right outcome.

Checkmate 😉🥂